Was chatting with a friend today, when he told me that as a kid, he looked at the sky and felt it was like an ocean... So, I took a picture and rotated it. And it hit home. That was what the picture was waiting for!
I wish the sky was really a big ocean and I could swim in that, the way I swim in the sea... that would be called flying... Many a times I dream that I'm actually swimming in air! Not floating or gliding ...just swimming... I dream of dinosaurs with fiery dark eyes... Of cold dim places with slopes to roll down upon. I dream of a touch which seems so real, even while my conscience knows me to be dreaming. I dream of the eyes gaze that I always wait for.
As a little girl, I dreamt of trying to be able to run, but my legs felt heavy... made it impossible for me to move. Now, my legs don't feel heavy anymore. I might not run like lightning, but I can run... keeping pace with the others. I dream colours, very distinct sometimes, but only few... Selectively desaturated Dreams, maybe.
I dream of long journeys with long lost friends, those who are still the way I last saw them many years ago, even though, I've grown. I dream of little streets with houses on both sides and hardly any activity. I dream of the earth, the rain, a hut, the love I lost, a seething fire. 3 people by the fire... A happy family. I dream of the desert, Alpines, the moon behind the Deodars... I dream of four friends at the beach at night ... the sand still warm from the day, the sound of the waves crashing at the shore, the sand in my hair ...
I dream of swimming in the deep ocean, and coming face to face with death there... and then there is just darkness...
Are my dreams profound?
Profound... and much more than the ocean...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
stop motion doesn't stop here...
Once fine autumn afternoon near about twelve years ago, for the first time, I heard about stop motion animation. Finally, I knew the secret of all the clay figures and the MTv wacky commercials... And I learned how to do it on my own... But I lacked a camera. And 12 years back, owning a camera was not easy... I would have had to make my dad sell off his second hand car for one... But I had ideas that remained.
And being the great Daydreamer that I am, I kept accumulating my dreams, to spend later, when I own a camera of my own.
But I seems to have, somewhere in between... forgotten about that.
Now, 12 years later, when Harshad put up the technique of time lapse photography, it opened the locked memories in my mind, whose keys, I had long since buried in my mind's department of un-feasible ideas. So I had a good cam, tripod and time.... and typical Indian improvisational qualities (that exist by default) .
And viola! I have a little STOP MOTION video of my OWN!
Shot through my canon 400D, and edited in windows Movie maker... I am not a pro, hence...
Also used a very nice piece of music from a fav band of mine: Pearl Jam - An Untitled song denoted by a red dot on my fav album: Yield.
So, I have decided to take out, one by one, keys from my mind's department of un-feasible ideas and open all locks to all doors to all ideas I ever had.
All this includes some failed experiments too .. :P
Monday, January 7, 2008
Experiments in photography...
I got my camera this July, and I have, since then, Used it, misused it, and abused it. But it holds... inspite of regular abuse. And it's not just this camera... the older ones have suffered an equal amount of physical torture. But they hold... And then again, It's not just my cameras... It's everything thats mine... My camera, computer, my guitar, my telescope, my cell, my watch, my helmet, my clothes, shoes, old stuff, mp3 walkman... well, practically everything.
Hmmm... So on Sunday, Harsh, a flickr friend, who also clicked this picture, suggested I write a blog on my experiments in photography.
I should, and I will... This way, maybe, after I'm gone, someone else can pick up from where I left and continue with all the mad hacks and fun... or maybe, others doing such stuff can connect and form a bigger ghetto of self sustained daydreamers, intellectually challenged and experimenting freaks who dreams of competing with the professionals, and get their asses kicked every time they try it.
In memory of all those who lived and died off experimenting... And to the spirit of experimentation and the want to live cheaply without overhead costs... I start writing more about my experiments in life, love, architecture and photography.
Hmmm... So on Sunday, Harsh, a flickr friend, who also clicked this picture, suggested I write a blog on my experiments in photography.
I should, and I will... This way, maybe, after I'm gone, someone else can pick up from where I left and continue with all the mad hacks and fun... or maybe, others doing such stuff can connect and form a bigger ghetto of self sustained daydreamers, intellectually challenged and experimenting freaks who dreams of competing with the professionals, and get their asses kicked every time they try it.
In memory of all those who lived and died off experimenting... And to the spirit of experimentation and the want to live cheaply without overhead costs... I start writing more about my experiments in life, love, architecture and photography.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
The tekdi is turning Pink!
I wanted to do something today. It's after the first day of 2008, and at least something should go right! The whole day was spent lazing around the house, and thats when I decided to go to the tekdi. Last week, was mostly going there in the mornings. This was a perfect day for an evening sunset hike up the little law college hill! So all I had to do was check the sunset timing for the day!
A little knot in my back has been nagging me the last few days. I don't know what caused it. But it's really troublesome. I can actually feel the little knot while rubbing on medicine. So I tried some yog-asans. I was feeling overly light and shaky, so just drank some water, but started off towards Kanchan galli! My mom looked at me and thought I looked sick and shouldn't go, but I am inherently a sick little bitch, and so, I persisted.
Kanchan Galli by rik!
And the ascend started... It was a beautiful feeling climbing up the ever familiar path for the nth time. Saw trees flowering Pink and Yellow! That was a pretty sight. Up the hill I went, always keeping time. Needed to see the first sunrise from the Quarry, which is the best spot in Pune city as of now! Met two friends pretty unexpectedly, which was a pleasant surprise! So here I was at the quarry, with a few other people, but all on my own. I was expecting two friends to share the sunset with, but in the end there was no one around.
So I went and sat on a rock, and was experiencing the lovely sunset, and clicking pictures while I was at it. then a while later, I was just mesmerised... staring at the beautiful vista around me. Even after having seen it in all seasons, and all times, the tekdi never ceases to surprise me. The breeze, now cool and steady was blowing gently. That sound and feel was many a times better than the sound and feel of my mp3 walkman.
the sun slowly disappeared behind the other hill, and I kept staring...
the sky turned yellow, to orange, to red to dark blue, and I kept staring...
the lights at the other end of the city began to compete with the light of the sky... and I kept staring...
I kept staring... nothing in my head. Absolute bliss! I was meditating... I don't even remember all that... And then I woke up from my trance to the loud chatter of two guys trying to find their way towards ARAI.
I looked at my watch, and it was 6.30... the time I had to reach Pooja's place. But that was the last thing on my mind that time.
I just hoped and wished I would reach the exit point before dark, so I don't have to climb down all alone in total darkness without torch, or company ... But thats exactly what I had to do...
I rushed towards the Maruti Mandir, reached there by which time it was already dark. There was one little light there, and one at the base of the hill at Kanchan Galli. there were a few people sitting there, who seemed in no hurry to get down... or maybe, they had their vehicles at ARAI... So I started descending... all the time hoping no to fall and twist my ankle, as I have done on numerous occasions before, because it was already dark... and I was alone, and who would actually be able to help if I fell and hurt myself!
Well, I'm just trying to gain sympathy for myself here... I wasn't so scared or anything. And it wasn't as herculean a task as I described it to be. Agreed that it was difficult, but i know the way, and my eyes had gotten used to the dark. So about ten minutes later, I find myself at the end of Kanchan Galli, trying unsuccessful, to catch a rik to reach Pooja's place on time!
But that wasn't to be... Pune's Rikshaw wallas have a problem with everyone who wishes to go to Karve nagar, Kothrud or a distance less than 10 mins away- after 6 PM. So I had no option but to walk. but I was by that time really feeling less like a sick bitch and more like 'really sick'... probably dehydrated too... I wasn't well. And I should listen to my mother more often.
So I took a pit stop to refuel myself with water, and here I was... to Pooja's. Reached there, but the Discussion going on was a little disappointing. Everyone, it seems wants to get themselves heard... at the expense of the other person's opinion and patience. But what could I have done about it, sometimes, even I'm guilty as charged above! I couldn't concentrate, didn't say much, and left earlier than usual. Walked back home, had dinner, and uploaded photos. and that was that...
The tekdi evening was 'something' and a good start to the year...
A little knot in my back has been nagging me the last few days. I don't know what caused it. But it's really troublesome. I can actually feel the little knot while rubbing on medicine. So I tried some yog-asans. I was feeling overly light and shaky, so just drank some water, but started off towards Kanchan galli! My mom looked at me and thought I looked sick and shouldn't go, but I am inherently a sick little bitch, and so, I persisted.
Kanchan Galli by rik!
And the ascend started... It was a beautiful feeling climbing up the ever familiar path for the nth time. Saw trees flowering Pink and Yellow! That was a pretty sight. Up the hill I went, always keeping time. Needed to see the first sunrise from the Quarry, which is the best spot in Pune city as of now! Met two friends pretty unexpectedly, which was a pleasant surprise! So here I was at the quarry, with a few other people, but all on my own. I was expecting two friends to share the sunset with, but in the end there was no one around.
So I went and sat on a rock, and was experiencing the lovely sunset, and clicking pictures while I was at it. then a while later, I was just mesmerised... staring at the beautiful vista around me. Even after having seen it in all seasons, and all times, the tekdi never ceases to surprise me. The breeze, now cool and steady was blowing gently. That sound and feel was many a times better than the sound and feel of my mp3 walkman.
the sun slowly disappeared behind the other hill, and I kept staring...
the sky turned yellow, to orange, to red to dark blue, and I kept staring...
the lights at the other end of the city began to compete with the light of the sky... and I kept staring...
I kept staring... nothing in my head. Absolute bliss! I was meditating... I don't even remember all that... And then I woke up from my trance to the loud chatter of two guys trying to find their way towards ARAI.
I looked at my watch, and it was 6.30... the time I had to reach Pooja's place. But that was the last thing on my mind that time.
I just hoped and wished I would reach the exit point before dark, so I don't have to climb down all alone in total darkness without torch, or company ... But thats exactly what I had to do...
I rushed towards the Maruti Mandir, reached there by which time it was already dark. There was one little light there, and one at the base of the hill at Kanchan Galli. there were a few people sitting there, who seemed in no hurry to get down... or maybe, they had their vehicles at ARAI... So I started descending... all the time hoping no to fall and twist my ankle, as I have done on numerous occasions before, because it was already dark... and I was alone, and who would actually be able to help if I fell and hurt myself!
Well, I'm just trying to gain sympathy for myself here... I wasn't so scared or anything. And it wasn't as herculean a task as I described it to be. Agreed that it was difficult, but i know the way, and my eyes had gotten used to the dark. So about ten minutes later, I find myself at the end of Kanchan Galli, trying unsuccessful, to catch a rik to reach Pooja's place on time!
But that wasn't to be... Pune's Rikshaw wallas have a problem with everyone who wishes to go to Karve nagar, Kothrud or a distance less than 10 mins away- after 6 PM. So I had no option but to walk. but I was by that time really feeling less like a sick bitch and more like 'really sick'... probably dehydrated too... I wasn't well. And I should listen to my mother more often.
So I took a pit stop to refuel myself with water, and here I was... to Pooja's. Reached there, but the Discussion going on was a little disappointing. Everyone, it seems wants to get themselves heard... at the expense of the other person's opinion and patience. But what could I have done about it, sometimes, even I'm guilty as charged above! I couldn't concentrate, didn't say much, and left earlier than usual. Walked back home, had dinner, and uploaded photos. and that was that...
The tekdi evening was 'something' and a good start to the year...
Monday, December 31, 2007
look back, look forth...
2007... I was looking forward to this one for a long time. As was the year I would graduate... and I did. And now that it's almost over (with just a few hours to go... ) let me (for the first time ever) sum up the year!the new years eve 2006 was a very quiet one with not much excitement. I wasn't overly happy, infact pretty jittery and nervous. The best thing I did was watch fireworks from my terrace. And the one call I expected didn't arrive, and I had to make the effort myself. It was in a way... a very disappointing start for the new year, and i though, would be really difficult to pick up from there. It seemed, that this year would be long drawn, slow and disappointing. I didn't overly expect from the year, and left it all for fate to decide.
So the first little fissures arrived soon enough and I saw myself slide into the lowest chasm I have ever been in. It is difficult to accept a break up, without letting it affect everything else around you. the strains were hard to keep to myself, and I found myself cracking up... But I found a little new photo group which kept me occupied otherwise. So that was one of the high points of the year.
we had a memorable holi on my terrace. my college mates! It was real fun... deadly celebrations!
had to get the terrace painted once again... (we had to get it done anyway... holi just gave us an excuse... )Photoshoots were the regular activity and I got to see many new laces and sides of Pune, and got to meet, surprisingly, a great bunch of individuals which is so rare an occurrence. We had the best of times exploring places in and around Pune!
The first Lunar eclipse of the year and the first full eclipse in three years was clearly visible from Pune, so the beautiful night was enjoyed on the lovely ambiance of my terrace.
The solar eclipse followed soon after. Was quiet a sight too...The first half of the year was my Thesis semester... and my last of the 5 yrs of grueling b.arch course. I wasn't happy with what I was doing... for once i realised that i was doing the wrong things at the wrong time, and that could affect a lot of things. But I persisted with it. And I also faced an unknown Godzilla eating up all my hard work of the past few months on my HDD. Well, the work was the last thing on my mind... I lost some precious photographs and music , and I still feel sad about it... But I recovered from that too, and moved on.
Thesis wasn't really going well, when something happened that shouldn't have. Girish passed away while on a drunk driving spree. And that too just a few days before our vivas. Just when he could have become an architect... just when he had started living his dream. Just when things were going right... We all learnt the hard way, but at the loss of a friend.
It was but thesis time, and we had to move on, once again. And we did.
Komal's wedding gave us something to look forward to. A classmate's wedding is real fun! After a lot of debating, we attended her wedding at Nasik, just a few days before our jury. and I wore a sari!
Then came the day of the Jury... and post jury... i was really really really down and out... I was just told on my face that I wouldn't clear with what I did... So i was prepared to give it the next semester. And I
recovered from that jolt too.Then I started having fun... photo shoots and all... My birthday came along with a pro account as gifted by my flickr friends... and that was a pleasant surprise! and was a beautiful summer!
We had shoots all along ... the Lonavala stn to khandala stn walk being the biggest. That was fun.
I did an experiment somewhere this time... and that was 75 mins star trails with Pooja's Nikon FM 2... For someone who doesn't know much about Film photography, this was one hell of a successful experiment!
hen came my pilgrimage tour to Auroville... need I say more... I love that place. and I keep going there. It was a good trip and Devina accompanied me there. My juniors had just started training there, and I showed them around, taking them places there. It was fun... reliving those magical days I spent in Auroville last year! After auroville, I headed to Bangalore for my friend Navisa's very Marvari wedding! What colour! It was an experience I can never forget!
Auroville, and Bangalore and a 5 hour Rain delay later, I found myself back at Pune... totally unwell, and with results just 2 a few days away.
Result day: I knew the outcome, but couldn't help feel jumpy! So off I was to college... and what do i see... I cleared... I don't know how, I don't want to know how... But I passed... and that was the end of B.ARCH!
And then started a brand new adventure! Part time work with my teachers. That still continues, BTW... and my first ever Digital Single Lens Reflex camera! I and many many photoshoots!
So I started experimenting with my camera and all...
Then came the Ecological society course on Natural resource management and ecological restoration. It gave me a different outlook on things, and continues to do so...
I started experimenting with my camera soon enough, and made some awesome things. Like a macro attachment thats a big hit! And also my very own cheap Fish eye attachment.
So i was experimenting... as usual...
So, Photoshoot, field visits, work and eco soc. classes, trips... loads of those : to Chakrata and Delhi, Phaltan... it has been something
Kaas
Mastani Lake
Panshet Market
Temghar Dam
Bedse caves
Just a few places I visited...
The Chakrata trip was fantastic! It has been really eye opening and informative. Any trip will not be the same for me again. Learnt how much patience it requires for bird watching
Visited Delhi during Diwali... it was a fun week reliving the wonderful few years I spent there.
We had a photo shoot at Wai and one of my pictures from that shoot made it to flickr blog, and highest position for my photos on Flickr explore pages! That was the pic of an old payphone! I also like one more from that shoot.
Got to see stunning Geminids fireballs and meteor showers quiet by accident! Went to Bhimashankar soon afterwards...
then came the convocation... the unceremonious handing over of our degrees 6 months later...
But, now I can register with the Council of architecture and be called Meghana Kulkarni, Architect! i have a mixed reaction to that... But then, it's a phase... moving on once more.
Then Came the Phaltan trip with Eco soc. which was also a very eye opening trip! It has to be one of the most beautiful places I have seen...
So here I am, in the final few hours of the year 2007. It has been a year of jolts, surprises and turmoils. But i have tried to rise above all. I have loved, and lost... than never to have loved at all. Made some excellent new friends. Strengthened old bonds. traveled a lot. Discovered some new places. Learnt to let go, move on, and have no strings attached. Not that I have implimented anything, but hope to do so soon.
The one thing I have really learnt from all those yesterdays, is that I shouldn't really expect anything. Just keep living and experiencing instinctively. Believe in ideals and follow them with all your heart. There is a long way to go, and I have just about started.
And I have found my direction. Just need to continue on that path, no matter how hard it seems.
Do that was de-constructing the new year.
I'm looking forward to the new one, 2008. I don't know what it'll bring. But I'm ready to face it, head on, as a new challenge.
-------------------------------------------------------------- Meghana
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
SELF HELP
I only trust one person to take my portraits - Myself.
And thats why i have so many pictures of myself. Another classic one I took before going to Rahul's B'day dinner.
SO I'm the best when t comes to click my own portraits... if anyone else does try, the are never good!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I dream RED
little red sparks, a pretty scarlet thought, a meadow of little crimson flowers I dream of
A sweet little red candy, a little book with a crimson cover, lovely little scarlet dreams there I discover
little scarlet berry bushes, a cute bird with a crimson wing, a little red song for the crimson bird to sing
red satin sashes, scarlet hair bands, little crimson butterflies settle on my sun kissed hands
scarlet cheeks, crimson lips, a little red beetle exploring on my fingertips
I lay on a bed of soft scarlet leaves, close my eyes and sunspots appear red, with a gaze into the crimson sea sunset
the crimson waters shimmer, and twinkle little red stars, a sweet little scarlet memory opens up old forgotten scars
the crimson passion overflows, till my scarlet heart is dead, i keep waiting for you till eternity and I dream RED ...
I dream red...
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
A lone february STAR
I was playing the guitar you gave me. A particular song... my body bearing the resonance of the strings heavily laden with memories of you. It was a little too much for me to take, but something made me go on. A silent little encouragement from you...I had to go through it. And after I did, the silence was calming, a permanent sedative for the pain and hysteria from my loss. I was still shaking from the vibrations. And I know you were there...
Never has a song brought back so much of what you gave me before. Never have I missed you more. Never had I realised you made me into what I am today. You live through me. You are my hero, today and forever.
And I play for you this song from my heart:
hanging on
here until I'm gone
right where I belong
just hanging on
even though I watched you come and go
how was i to know you'd steal the show
one day I'll have enough to gamble
I'll wait to hear your final call
Bet it all
hanging on
hanging on here until I'm gone
right where I belong
just hanging on
even though, passed this time alone
somewhere so unknown
it heals the soul
you ask for walls, I'll build them higher
we'll lie in shadows of them all
I'd stand but they're much too tall
and I fall
February stars
floating in the dark
temporary scars
February stars
---------------February Stars (The colour and the shape) Foo Fighters.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
each one has a different way of looking at things.
I saw it, and thought... something. Just a few random thoughts. But profound, now that I think back. certain interpretations are unavoidable, but I like looking at somethings that let me imagine what I want. I don't want to be told anything, I want to interpret according to me. according my constant ramblings. Not empty but filled with nonsense that will let me join the dots without any numbers.
A straight thought does not amount to much. It typecasts me.
A skew dismantling my mind into millions of pieces and putting it all together in drastically varying patterns comforts me.
A straight thought does not amount to much. It typecasts me.
A skew dismantling my mind into millions of pieces and putting it all together in drastically varying patterns comforts me.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
I dream in Technicolour
The interpretation of my Technicolour dreams
I never dreamt in such profundity as I have started to dream. I don’t dream when I sleep, but I dream, wide awake, fully conscious of my surroundings, just one thought, one feeling, one dream.
I feel tranquil, peaceful and content. I feel a sense of harmony. I dream blue.
I dream of moments… so close to coming true, a touch, almost real. A feeling, almost true. I dream blue.
I dream of those times we should have,
I dream of all conversations that never happen, I dream of the love, we never shared.
I dream for a feel, of your soul, for you baritone falling especially for me,
I dream of you.
IT never happened before, and never, with such vigour. Erstwhile, your absence made me overlook your presence in my life. But now, your absence triggers off a superfluous charging of brain cells, beyond my control. You will never say what’s in your mind, and never will I, and we will converse and stop, where my dreams will take over, and hopefully yours too…
I dream blue…
I never dreamt in such profundity as I have started to dream. I don’t dream when I sleep, but I dream, wide awake, fully conscious of my surroundings, just one thought, one feeling, one dream.
I feel tranquil, peaceful and content. I feel a sense of harmony. I dream blue.
I dream of moments… so close to coming true, a touch, almost real. A feeling, almost true. I dream blue.
I dream of those times we should have,
I dream of all conversations that never happen, I dream of the love, we never shared.
I dream for a feel, of your soul, for you baritone falling especially for me,
I dream of you.
IT never happened before, and never, with such vigour. Erstwhile, your absence made me overlook your presence in my life. But now, your absence triggers off a superfluous charging of brain cells, beyond my control. You will never say what’s in your mind, and never will I, and we will converse and stop, where my dreams will take over, and hopefully yours too…
I dream blue…
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