Recurring dreams

Our subconscious is such a wonder. It conveys through dreams feelings, thoughts and problems through highly cryptic messages. Sometimes one off and sometimes recurring. I've had a few recurring themes in my dreams.

The first prominent one I remember was from when I was four years old. About a strange man dressed like a joker and an evil peacock trying who weren't directly after me, but I sensed an undercurrent of fear of them taking me away from my mother. 

A few times I dreamt about not being able to run at all in a race. My legs just felt heavy. 

Now a days, I am able to run. I still can't overtake everyone, but am at par with most. 

As I grew older in my late teens, I had recurring dreams about dinosaurs. They were always after me with glowing red eyes and sometimes they would breathe fire too. I always managed to have close encounters with them but always got away.

While I was studying architecture in college, my dreams were mostly about the current design I was working on. mostly about drafting and finishing my work. In real life, I've always had a problem with finishing a project on time. 

The most disturbing recurring theme in my dreams till date has been about air crafts crashing as soon as they take off. It was prevalent during my mid 20s. I was always an onlooker, and never one on board. Initially, they always crashed behind a hill or beyond buildings, so I would never get to see the actual crash. Once even managed to go close to the aircraft after I saw it crashed. Then one day, I saw the aircraft take off while I was at the air traffic control room and subsequently crash and stop just meters away from me. But I was rooted to the spot. Never moved. I've not had any such dreams since then. 

Since my father passed away, I've dreamt of him a few times still alive, but unwell. I love the fact that he's still with me, but hate the fact that he's not how he used to be. I'd lost a young cousin many years ago and she's there as well, but frail and without her innocence, beauty and spirit.

A few times, I was naked in my dreams. Vulnerable - for the world to see. I saw myself that way again in my dream yesterday. I felt totally exposed and helpless. Yet didn't break down. 

I cannot express myself in words or actions in life so many times. I want to but never can Something stops me. Last night as well - I wanted to, but couldn't. And today morning, my subconscious let me know that I need to.

And last night...

Wanted to do something different last night. And since I couldn't think of anything, I went up to the terrace, set up my telescope to view the moon through the layers of clouds passing by. Since there was no decent opportunity to take a still photograph of the moon, I took a video of clouds engulfing the moon. Such a wonderful sight!

Meme wars... err... Meme trek!

Zis happened on facebook two days ago: 

Saade teen saal baad!

I cannot imagine why it took me three and a half years to put this post up. I hadn't even thought about it since I made and gave this presentation during the Bangalore photography club exhibition called  'Frames of mind' in September 2010

Here's this poster: I designed it and they added the rest of the logo and information (blah blah)

They even had a very interesting description about me on their event listing which must still be somewhere on the world wide web, hopefully. 

Here's the presentation I made 

   camera DIY by Meghana Kulkarni

It seems like a long time ago now, but I think I entertained the crowd sufficiently that day. It was a presentation which had to to be split in two session because I was talking too much about each and everything and also because the good folk of the Bangalore photography club had the patience to listen to me and even come back after the lunch break in larger number to listen to me talk even more. That was something.

And it didn't end there! People came up to talk to me after the presentation and that went on for a couple of hours... I felt important.

And the other night...

Someone texted me on facebook... 

She is a friend of an acquaintance and I later realised she is a hairstylist who really likes short hair on women :P 

But whatever... It was the first time a stranger complimented me on my short hair! :D

And the award for the WORST PACKING EVER goes to...

EBAY!

Couldn't figure out where to start unwrapping the package. 

It came in an extremely shabby corrugated sheet box (can't call it a box either) wrapped like an egyptian mummy with a mess of half popped bubble wrap and two inch wide clear tape... How is one supposed to unwrap it as neatly as possible without ripping anything to shreds?

A few months ago, I thought I should build an apocalypse survival kit. I need to be prepared for everything possible. I have no clue what it is... SO I bought a few things... like these chemical proof, fog proof night riding glasses...  

AND

Cheap welding glasses. I thought I could use them on site. Also, in case the light gets too bright outside or something... 

AND... I can wear this if I need to take a nap in a brightly lit up public place :D

Am I mad or what?

Varying concerns

Shiva was very kind to drive me to site yesterday morning. As we were driving back, we noticed a red block in the middle of the road.

Shiva: 'Look at that stone on the road'

Me: 'It's a brick not a stone.'

Shiva: 'Someone might have an accident at night if that thing is on the road.'

Me: It's a brick!'

(I start laughing...) 'It's funny how you are concerned about the safety of people on the road while I'm concerned with calling that block by it's technically correct name!'

Shiva: 'Yea, thats the difference between an architect and someone who likes driving...'

Seriously hilarious incident!

I have a song for almost every moment.

Last night, I was awake at 3 AM

This is the song for it: 

I have lost it...

My guitar tuning mojo, that is...

I replaced the strings on my little guitar last night, and for the life of me couldn't manage to tune it. Now I'm a fairly decent guitar tuner... and I also have the tuner app on my phone for assistance. But it just refused to tune... 

Back to cameras...

It's been a while since I blogged about photography...

A long time ago, I wrote about a boy with a broken arm and a lost camera. I promised to build him a camera once. I was reminded about this promise recently by him and I thought I should make him a hexomniscope pinhole camera. 

I had once, a while before I met this boy with the broken arm, blogged about my first attempt at a hexomniscope pinhole. Having given up on it, I didn't even think about it till now. So I came up with a working design for my version of the 35mm hexomniscope pinhole camera :D

The 10 year old me thought...

the 10 year old me thought I'll be wiser when I was older.Turns out I'm not any smarter. Just taller...

I'm a fool

To believe there's something when there's clearly not. And it's all my fault. I have a terrible habit of over thinking. Why must I want more?

So many thoughts that my mind is marinating in right now...I can't really tell anyone because no one wants to know. Everyone has their plates full with their own issues that make me wonder if mine are worth considering at all.

I want to start my own radio show

Playing songs I like! :D

And talking about them!